Ms von Salis, why do so many parents feel so much pressure during Advent?

Because it simply HAS TO be wonderful, special and peaceful. Many of us have internalised this ideal picture of the lead-up to Christmas. As if you have to put the normal conflicts of everyday life aside for December. Meanwhile, you also have to attend countless events, bake ten different types of Christmas treat, craft presents with the kids and organise Christmas dinner for all your relatives. At some point, something has got to give – often resulting in an explosion on Christmas Day itself. 

The lead-up to Christmas is a period full of rituals that parents want to pass on to their children as something to remember. What’s the best way to do that?

In the end, children decide for themselves what they ultimately consider to be their favourite memories. We as parents have no control over that. Small children might find the wrapping paper much more interesting than the high-quality wooden toys we carefully wrapped up in it, for example. As parents, all we can do is create a specific situation and then simply observe what happens. What can be really interesting is getting rid of all expectations and focusing on experiencing the moment with curiosity and an open mind.

Consumerism runs rampant at Christmas. How should parents handle it?

I think it is important to discuss expectations with your children, as well as the values that are important to each person. Even younger children can take part in this type of open dialogue without taking away the magic of Santa Claus. Talk about how many presents you are able and want to give. And, of course, an excursion or special experience for the family can help reduce the amount of physical gifts each person gets. 

What are your three most important tips for keeping Advent stress-free for parents and children?

Plan December in advance: Work Christmas party, school nativity play, visits to Santa – there’s so much going on in December. Sit down together and decide which events are really important for different members of your family. That makes it easy to decide what to reschedule and should give you more free time.

Don’t forget basic needs: The things that parents and children need all year round are important in December too – unscheduled time, plenty of movement and fresh air. Young people also need to spend time with their friends, and parents need time to relax. Name the things that are important to you.

Realistic expectations: Here I am talking above all about the expectations that parents place on themselves. Be honest with both yourself and others – that will help you avoid disappointment. If the photo album for Grandma isn’t finished by Christmas, well, she’ll love it just as much in January. Be creative – you can explore whole new Christmas traditions that work for you and your family.